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Meet Khadijah Lacina   
 

This was

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A quick note to you all- sorry there are no pictures of me and my family, that is because of the Islaamic prohibition on making pictures of things created with souls.  I hope you do enjoy the pictures I was able to send, though!
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First off, how do you pronounce your name?   We are all probably doing it our own way, and it would be nice to so correctly!
"Kh" is one letter in Arabic, it is a hard "h" sound, that comes from the top of your throat. There is no equivalent in English, but think of the Scottish "loch" and you are close, and there is also a similar sound in German, in "ach".  The rest is easy...the middle syllable "dee" is accented... the "a" is like "u" in "up", then "dee" then "juh".  Khadijah!

Tell us a bit about your family, and how you met your husband.
Mujaahid (boy) 15 (a serious student, amateur astronomer, bowhunter, capable of extreme silliness)

Sukhailah (girl) 9 (loves to do schoolwork, a dreamer, a writer, an artist, a wonderful big sister to baby Mu'aadh)

Hudhaifah (boy) 8 (sweetheart, but so incredibly active, always on the go, loves to figure out how things work, and to build exciting contraptions out of just about anything)

Juwairiyah (girl) 6 (a wild woman, she loves to read, and dress up, and has the most contagious laugh)

Nusaybah (girl) 4 (again, a wild woman, always saying and doing things that keep the rest of us laughing, likes to pretend she is a "fine young lady" whatever THAT means, makes up songs to sing at the top of her voice all day long)

Mu'aadh (boy) 1 (gets into everything, has a sweet temperament and a smile that would shame the sun)

And my husband meeting story...

When I became Muslim, I already had a baby, and lived in Eau Claire Wisconsin, a medium sized college town. I was a senior in college, majoring in English and Theatre Arts. (Does that surprise you???).  My brother, who is also Muslim, and was responsible for helping me to find a husband, was urging me to get married, and I went along with his suggestions, thinking there was no harm in looking, anyway. So, after a failed engagement with, get this, a Pakistaani aeronautics expert who worked at JPL and NASA (HOW did it fail?  Picture me on the phone with his mother in Pakistaan, her yelling things at me in a foreign language, him telling me, "She says she loves you, that is what she is saying", and then her saying in heavily accented English "We hate you, we will find him a girl here".) I was leery when Abdul Salaam gave me a Muslim magazine with matrimonial ads in it. (I mean, only losers actually use those ads, I thought.) He, of course, had circled the ones that he thought were proper... I ignored them all and zeroed in on one that said, basically, (and yes, the ad is safely tucked away amongst my treasures in the States):

Serious minded muslim looking for marriage with a religious muslimah who wants to live Islaam in every aspect of life.  Hoping to homestead organically in Alaska or elsewhere.

I wrote, and he wrote back, and after we exchanged some letters, he asked me to marry him (through my brother) about three months later. I said yes, and he drove non stop from Virginia to Wisconsin and we were married a week after he got there.  Alhamdulillah, that was over ten years ago!!

What is a typical day like for you?
I make breakfast between six thirty and seven.  It tends to be rice, or pancakes, or bulgar, because I do NOT like making bread first thing in the morning.  The children get dressed and clean their rooms, I straighten up and get clothes washing to hang up later in the day.  Between eight and eight thirty  I have started taking the girls and going to the classes for women at the women's school.  The girls are all in a class together for learning Arabic, along with girls their ages, and women who are also learning to read. The baby and I can listen to other classes on all sorts of Islaamic subjects that are offered for women at the same time.  Don't ever believe what you hear about Muslim women being kept ignorant, or whatever..these women are SO sharp, it is amazing, and they are studying and raising families at the same time.  At 11:00 I have private tutoring in classical Arabic grammar and the rules of Qur'aan recitation.  We go home in time for the noon prayer and then eat lunch and have NAPTIME!!  (can you tell I REALLY like naptime??) Everyone rests on their sleeping mats in their rooms and reads, or colors, or plays quietly, or even actually sleeps. Or, they are noisy and full of mischief, but we won't get into that. I often do my homework or study at this time, if Mu'aadh allows. Around 2:30 naptime is over, I exercise while listening to an Islaamic lecture and then have a cup of tea with Mujaahid before he heads off to the afternoon prayer and class.  Then I have time to study, or work on my herbal things, or crochet, or work on my translations...I like to have a lot of projects going so that there is always more than one thing to choose from.  We also like to go up on the roof at this time and soak in the sun.  5:00 is time for making supper, and we eat, then it is time for the evening prayer.  My husband and I go for a long walk after that, in the twilight, and usually sit up on the roof for a bit when we return, and look at the stars.  The children go to bed, and I work on the same things I did in the afternoon, as my mood and the time the electricity goes out for the daily couple of hours, dictates.  That's about it!!

Where did you grow up?  And how did you finally get to Yemen?
I grew up in a teensy weensy town of around 600 people in the Kickapoo Valley in southwestern Wisconsin.  They are famous for their apple orchards, and there are lots of natural caves and hills to hike through.  I single mommed it through college at UW Eau Claire, graduating with honors in English and Theatre Arts. I married, and in the ten years that followed lived in Virginia, Colorado (my favorite), New Jersey, and New York state.  The whole time, though, we were always planning and thinking about moving here, as Muslims are commanded to try to make hijrah, or to leave the lands of the non Muslims and to live in the lands of the Muslims.  Yemen appealed to our love of simplicity, and there are a lot of scholars and centers for learning here.  We were blessed to buy a fixer upper house for ten thousand dollars, we lived there for about two years, and then were offered enough money for the house that we could come here and live off of that money for a year while we studied.  So, we sold the house, and here we are!

What's it like living in Yemen?
The Lonely Planet Guide for Yemen calls it a "medieval time capsule" and nowhere is that more true than in the villages like where we live, and smaller. For example, electricity is not available everywhere, and it is not exactly dependable.  Let's just say that I save like crazy when I am working on the computer!!!  The same with running water, many many people simply don't have it, and go to certain watering places to get their daily supply of water in the morning.  We do have running water, but we also have a well downstairs that we have to draw water from at times as well.  We have no bath or shower or even hot water. Not everyone even has indoor bathrooms...

But these things don't nearly outweigh the joy of living here.  The feeling of history is palpable...when you hear the adhaans from the various masaajid, you know that they have been being called here for over 1400 years.  When you walk past the fields, you see people out there planting and harvesting as they have been doing for hundreds of years.  The buildings are a mix of ancient mud houses, clay brick houses, and the modern cement block houses...often in one structure!  Their way of building is so very organic, almost a living thing, mash'Allaah.  Looking out the window, you see people riding on donkeys, with guys on motorcycles zooming past them.  The sheepherder girls take their animals out to graze for large parts of the day, all through the town, where they eat garbage and kitchen scraps that people put out for them.  Our neighbor has a cow and calf, and several chickens, and once in awhile a goat or sheep- again, right in town.  The streets are not paved, they are more like well worn paths.  

The markets are a kaleidoscope of bright colors and loud noises, with people sitting on blankets on the ground with their wares, or leaning out of small stores, or selling out of wheelbarrows or from the bundles in their arms.  In the mornings the women are out sifting the day's supply of wheat...they have these huge woven straw mats that they set on the ground.  They pour the wheat from the bag onto these mats, and let the wind carry away the lighter particles.  Then they crouch down and pick up the mats and toss the wheat into the air, again and again, to get rid of all that chaff.  Lastly, the women sort through what remains, taking out rocks and heavier debris.  All this time people pass by and they talk and laugh, and children run around playing with each other.  The families just drift in and out of each other's homes, I still don't know who some of the children belong to!  They play with everything and anything, it is not common for them to have store bought toys besides a soccer ball.  For example, they make little wagons out of old vegetable oil containers, and kites out of plastic bags and sticks, and rattles out of pop bottles and rocks.  The babies don't wear diapers, so you see little bare bottom babies playing all over the place as well.  There is a lot of poverty, but the sense of family and community are so strong that it makes up for all of that.

Perhaps the most accurate thing to say, and Camille is the one who said it to me, is that I really feel like we are LIVING here- from the dust storms to the rainy season, you taste life with every breath of air that you take.

Are you planning to be in Yemen permanently?
Well, we would love to stay here, but it is not that easy...you have to go year to year with the work Visas, so it is a year to year process.  We really love it here- the whole family would love to stay, but we will have to see what happens.  

What do you miss most about being in America? Familiarity...I miss just being familiar with and at ease with my surroundings, whether it be a Walmart or a park.  I miss the house we sold to come, and being able to simply talk easily with people, instead of having to think so hard about everything I hear or say. I am getting better at that as my language improves, but it takes time, mash'Allaah.  And of course, I miss my family.

What do you like most about living in Yemen?
Being surrounded by Muslims, and soaking up all the Islaamic knowledge that is to be had here.  

What are some things you just cannot get where you live now? (I think you mentioned baking chocolate once.)  
Well, actually, if you are rich, you can get just about anything you could want!  But, the fact is, we are not anywhere near rich (money wise).  So...chocolate is of course a number one problem...they have the fake chocolate, you know the kind I mean, that cheap bunnies are made out of at Easter.  Baking chocolate is included in that, yep.  Convenience foods... I engage in "extreme cooking" where every single thing comes from scratch, often down to the grinding of the wheat and spices.  Yarn...there are a few places in the city that sell it, but they have a very small, limited selection, and are inconsistent with what they carry.  The women here do a lot of embroidery, and they do tatting (with the thin cotton thread) rather than using the yarn like I am used to.  Soaping supplies are very limited, as we have discussed on the list, but I can get olive and sunflower oils, and coconut oil is very common here.  The women use coconut oil in their hair, and olive oil on their skin. No beeswax or essential oils, or specialty butters, etc. And BOOKS!!!  In English, of course...I have lots of Arabic books, but the few English books I have, have been read again and again and again...perhaps that is why I only want to read well written books- I read them each a bajillion times!!

I think you mentioned once that you do not have a tub or hot water?  Am I remembering right?
Nope, we heat everything up in a HUGE pot on the stove, and put that in a smaller tub for washing up with.  Us and Laura Ingalls (SMILE)!! We also have no heating system, so cold mountain mornings are REALLY REALLY COLD mountain mornings until the sun warms up the house.  

Tell us again about how the women gather water. Many of the women around me do not have any running water at all in their homes, so they go to certain places where water is available and fill up great big ghee containers every morning for the day's supply of water.  I live in a house with three other families (two Yemeni and one Sudaani), and we have a well right downstairs, which is pretty convenient and cool, all things considered.  So, when the electricity is out, or the water level is too low to get the water to the apartments, we have to go down and gather the water ourselves.

The first thing you hear is the children...running through the entryway, laughing, singing, talking in their high, sing song voices.  Then the women come, heralded by the closing of the doors (to keep the menfolk inside) and the clanging of buckets for filling.  The heavy lid of the well is removed as the older sisters sit down along the well and pull their face veils down.  One of the younger women starts the water gathering, dropping a bucket down at the end of a rope and pulling it up when it is full.  She then spills this water into the carrying buckets.  They usually do not wear their full hijab, or covering, as they do this.  Traditional women's clothing consists of baggy pants with pretty embroidery around the ankles, and calf length, brightly colored dresses that are long sleeved and tight fitting on top, with a swishy, loose fitting skirt (ideal for twirling, trust me on that one).  They have their veils on and their hair covered as well, usually with black but often with other colors.  Their outer coverings they push aside, or lay next to them.  

As the water gatherer gets into the rhythm of the work, she is engaged in conversation with the other women.  They discuss children, neighbors, family, what they have been studying...everything but the task of water gathering that they are engaged in.  They tease and joke and laugh as they each take their turn gathering water.  Sometimes one of the younger women will simply gather it for everyone, if the discussion is lively enough.  When everything is full, the women pull their cloaks around them, put their buckets on their heads, and head back to their homes...until the next time comes to gather the water...  

What do you eat in Yemen?    What do you eat for
your typical meals?
Well, let's see.  Basically, we eat tons and tons of fresh, in season vegetables prepared in whatever way I figure out for that meal, homemade bread, and rice or wheat.  A typical Yemeni meal consists of huge round flattish bread loaves called sha'eer, with several sauces for dipping- some super hot, some not so hot, some mild.  Salta is also commonly prepared, it is a spicy stew with lots of vegetables in it.  They usually have a dish of tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots and peppers (all raw) to go with.  They sprinkle this liberally on all the other dishes as they eat.  The main dish is often a chicken and rice dish of some sort.  We so rarely have meat of any type, that I don't know exactly how they prepare that.  There are many bean dishes eaten here, the most common being ful. Each meal also has shafoot, a dish made of a strong yogurt with lots of spices and bread in it.  I don't know how to make that yet either. For dessert they have fruits in season.  Right now that means watermelon and tangerines.

They bake their bread in HUGE tandoor ovens, and many of the families around us do much of their cooking outside, so it smells like a barbecue is going on.  Their stoves are the small two burner jobbies hooked to a propane tank, and they do most of their cooking in pressure cookers.

As for eating out, there are tea houses all over the place that offer tea and sweets and juices, and restaurants with rice dishes, and men with wheelbarrows selling delicious fried fish, fruits, juice drinks, sweets, and other things. Falafels and shwarmas and kebobs are also popular street food, as well as boiled potatoes and eggs.

Some Yummy Yemeni Recipes:                                            

Sha'eer (Yemeni Flat Bread)     Makes 4 Sha'eer

5 1/4 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 pkt quick rising yeast*
4-5 tsp vegetable oil (optional)
2 cups warm water

Habbah Sawdah-black Nigella seeds, or Simsim-sesame seeds (optional) 

Sift the flour with the salt into a bowl. Add the yeast and mix to combine the dry ingredients. Mix in the vegetable oil and rub in with the hands. Gradually add the warm water to the flour and the yeast and mix with the hands until a smooth, round, soft dough is produced.  Knead for another 7 to 10 minutes until the dough is elastic and smooth, essentially the same as ordinary bread dough. Form into a ball, cover with a damp cloth and leave to rest in a moderately warm place for about an hour or until the dough has doubled in bulk.

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F. Line a baking tray with aluminum foil and place in the oven to get hot.

When the dough has risen divide into four equal sized balls. Shape or roll out on a lightly floured surface into oval shapes to a thickness of about 1/2 inch. After shaping the sha'eer, wet your hand and form deep grooves or cuts down the center of each. Sprinkle with habbah sawdah (Nigella seeds) or sesame seeds if wished.

Remove the hot baking tray from the oven and place a sha'eer into it. Bake immediately for eight to ten minutes until the sha'eer is golden brown. The bread should be fairly crisp and hard on the outside. Repeat the process with the remaining balls of dough.

When removed from the oven the sha'eer should be wrapped in a towel or tin foil to keep from drying out.

*the Yemenis usually use a kind of sourdough starter instead of yeast.    

Salataa (Tomato Salsa) 

8 oz white onions
3 or four hot green chili peppers
1 lb fresh tomatoes
at least 4 or 5 cloves of garlic, peeled and crushed
3 tbs vinegar
1-2 tsp salt
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp habbah sawdah (black Nigella seed) optional

Peel the onions and then either grate them or chop into small pieces in a blender. Put aside. Cut up the tomatoes roughly and puree them in a blender with the chilies. Now mix the tomatoes, chilies, onions and garlic together and add the vinegar, salt, sugar, and habbah sawdah. Mix well, and then store in clean, dry jars in a cool place.

Makes about two one-pound jars.

Fasooliyah (White beans and vegetables)  
Serves 8                                                   

In a soup pot, soak overnight:
1 lb dried white, great northern or navy beans
7 cups water  

Before cooking add:
1 1/2 t. salt

Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer 1-1 1/2 hours, until nearly tender.

Add:
1 1/2 c. potatoes, diced  
1 c. carrots, diced  
1/2 c. fresh parsley (baqdunis), chopped  
2-3 c. fresh tomatoes, chopped  
1/4 c. olive oil  
1 medium onion, chopped  
3-4 cloves garlic, finely minced  
1 t. pepper

Return to a boil. Simmer, covered, 45 minutes, stirring occasionally so it does not stick. Serve with thick, warm bread, preferably Sha'eer.

Salta (spicy vegetable stew)            Serves 8                                                      
In a large, heavy saucepan sauté in 1-2 T. oil:
1 onion, chopped  

Add and brown:
1 lb. stewing beef, cubed (substitute stock or two beef bullion cubes)

Add:
2 large fresh tomatoes, chopped  

Cook 10 minutes over high heat, stirring occasionally.

Add: 
1 c. zucchini, cubed  
1 c. okra, sliced  
3 carrots, sliced  
1/2 c. tomato paste  
1 c. water

Continue to cook on high.

Add:
1 large potato, cubed  
1 large green pepper, chopped  
1 T. salt  
1 T. cumin  
5 cloves garlic, minced  
3 hot green chili peppers, or 1 t. chili powder
1/2 cup cilantro (kabzarah) finely chopped
1 c. water or stock

Reduce heat and simmer until meat and vegetables are tender. Serve over rice or with fresh bread (Sha'eer).

Tell us something about you that we might be surprised to know.  
Ready? Underneath my mild mannered exterior I have a temper like you would not believe, inherited from my Irish mom and her side of the family, I guess.  My husband teases me about being a "firecracker" with my red hair and emotional nature.  That is yet another thing that I have come to terms with since embracing Islaam...I have control of that temper, instead of being ruled by it like before. BTW my mom would have said it was not a temper, but that I am emotionally high strung, or have an artistic temperament!!!  Also, I am an exceptionally shy person...that certainly doesn't come through on the list, does it?? 

How did you find the Soapnuts list?  
I started soaping and learning about the internet at the same time.  My husband told me about an egroup for Muslim women, which I joined, and one day I looked for soap lists there as well.  I found Soapnuts, and read the warning about the high volume of mail to expect, and put off joining. I kept going back to it though, as the name appealed so highly to me.  So, a year or so later, I signed up.  I was on a couple of other lists as well, but I really liked this one. Then, when 911 happened, there was a lot of backlash on the lists about Muslims and Islaam, and there was NONE on Soapnuts.  I promptly gave up the other ones and came out of lurkdom on Soapnuts, and have been here ever since.  I also want to mention that once in awhile I try other lists that are more "specialized" but I have never, ever found the environment that we have here on this list, and this is the one I always stick with, make sure I read the messages, and all that.  You all have been with me through an awful lot, and I am glad to call some of you friends.

What is your favorite thing about soapmaking?   
The magic of it all...I look at it as an artistic outlet, and I treat it as such.  I really love trying different oils, different coloring techniques, fragrance blending...and the satisfaction seeing how they all came together as I cut the bars.

Do you sell your products?   
I did in the States, and I loved doing it, but here, no. First, many of the ingredients for things are either hard or impossible to find, or are very expensive.  Secondly, this is such a poor country, and the people I come in contact with are poor... maybe if I ran in high society circles I would be able to, but for now, no.  I do give them as gifts as often as possible, though!

So, what other interests do you have besides soaping?  
Let's see...I love to read, especially mysteries.  But they have to be well written, I don't have the patience to read through a badly written book.  I guess I might be a bit of a book snob.  I crochet and am teaching myself and my daughters to knit as well. I do a lot of translating from Arabic to English, mostly important religious works and rulings regarding women. In the same vein, I am working on developing a curriculum to teach children and English speakers the Arabic language. I am in love with just about anything and everything herbal, and am working on developing a correspondence course for Muslims in herbalism and Prophetic medicine, as well as a children's herbal and storybook.  I am an avid exerciser, have been since I was fourteen, and I figure I had better keep it up now that I have hit and passed thirty.  As you read above, I am a student, and I homeschool my own children for the most part. Oh, and I love henna body art, and am putting together a henna kit (Yemen is famous for high quality henna) and CD Rom.

You said you joined the Story Circle.  Are you actively writing in it yet, and if so, what is the link to find you?  
I have just started, I am so hyped about it!  I think it is such an important project, as there are so many stories to tell, and experiences to relate, and wisdom to pass on from woman to woman.  As things progress I will keep you all posted.

~ Khadijah Lacina